a.k.a. Why I trust a Yinzer in the produce aisle at Giant Eagle more than science to select a decent eggplant
So here’s the thing about eggplant. I’m not a fan.
Well, I hadn’t been for a very long time. But a couple of years ago I was standing kind of glassy-eyed in the massive produce section of a huge Giant Eagle grocery store in the sprawling outskirts of Pittsburgh’s Parkway West and things changed for me on the eggplant front. I don’t know how long I had been standing there muttering to myself about bell peppers. That’s all I needed to buy. A couple of dang bell peppers. Where are the bell peppers? This shouldn’t be so haaaaaaard.
A fellow shopper came to my rescue by escorting me to the peppers. And then told me her favorite secret for picking eggplants. She asked if I liked eggplant. I said, “well, no… I think they’re kind of mushy.” She said she used to feel the same way until she learned how to select an eggplant. I wasn’t buying an eggplant. Neither was she. But her secret was just too good to keep to herself… as all the best secrets are.
“Only get male eggplants,” she said, “They have fewer seeds. All of the fancy restaurants use male eggplants.” You’ve got to love advice that comes all wrapped up in a Pittsburgh yinzer accent.
I was sold on trying eggplant again. And she showed me how to tell the difference between the genders. The female has a slit and the male has a circle. See?
Well shoot. That’s easy enough, right?
According to science, there’s a little more to it. In fact, the University of Illinois Extension says that eggplants are “the products of sex and do not have [a sex].” Generally, I tend to agree with science. Though I’m a product of sex and certainly have a sex…
But anyway, there’s even more science that flies in the face of the beautiful Appalachian advice I had been given: the maturity of an eggplant can also determine how seedy (i.e. mushy) an eggplant is. The younger, smaller fruits have fewer seeds and the larger ones have more.
So here’s the thing. Ever since my produce aisle encounter, I’ve been choosing “male” eggplants, and they seem to be better. Perhaps it’s coincidence. Perhaps it’s placebo. Perhaps it’s just magic. But I’m going to stick with this “male” thing because it’s working for me. What’s a girl supposed to do? Close her eyes and let conflicting science take the wheel?
Sooooo, how do you choose your eggplants?